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It turned the installation of Lands of Lore 2 into a CG flight through a wizard’s tower, and Command & Conquer into a conversation with a Tiberium universe AI. Westwood Studios often let its worldbuilding seep beyond the borders of its games. And you thought Ubisoft was tough on piracy. I have five minutes to enter my CD key, I’m told, or face “immediate liquidation”. As instructed, I’d made an oath of loyalty to the President of the United States, but my clearance code turned out to be incorrect. Seal extraction team has been scrambled to my location. It’s like a comedy briefcase, and speaks to the scale of the adventure to come. What sticks in the mind is the physical act of folding out a case that contains no fewer than five discs. There’s nothing exceptional about the software that installs Bioware’s first ever RPG, beyond the initial launcher that mimics the solid, granite aesthetic of Baldur’s Gate’s interface. Triggers a demonic laugh when you put the disc in, even in 2019, on Windows 10. It’s the perfect test: if I can’t handle this, there’s no way I’ll stomach Worms United’s pitch black sense of humour. As the files copy, each worm detonates itself in turn, leaving behind an instant gravestone-just as they do in the game. Rather than a progress bar, I’m faced with rows and rows of pixelated worms, each leaning on an explosive plunger.
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The masterstroke comes when the laptop flits to its own meta install screen. As the disc spins, so do his pupils, in zany circles. Its black screen frames the reflection of a huge cartoon worm in a combat helmet - me, I suppose. A hand grenade sits on a desk, and next to it a camo laptop.